Loving someone means allowing them to be the person they are and not forming them to your ideal. Focusing on all the things you love about a person instead enhances your emotions towards and strengthens the bond with that individual.
It is so easy for us to pick up on the little things we dislike about a person but focusing on their strengths instead of their weaknesses, actually builds up the bond with a person and allows them to flourish offering us more. We start to notice more things we love about that person.
Having good communication is vital for any relationship to grow and develop. Instead of thinking negative thoughts and falling into long repetitive mental chatter, express your concerns with the individual. Expressing yourself allows you to connect to your true desires, you become aware of what it is you really want. Having a relationship that is open to honesty strengthens the bond and enables personal growth diminishing repetitive ways.
Having good communication starts from a deep connection to yourself. Often we find our relationships are affected when we are having our own inner struggles. Our own personal frustrations can lead us into a negative frame of mind impacting on all our outer experiences. Dwelling in this negative state causes us to find even more problems and issues that aren’t really there. It is important to hold a strong connection to yourself so you are able to listen to what it is you really want.
To build up a strong connection I recommend meditating daily, being in nature and just sitting in silence. Here you will be able to escape all rational thought and be guided to your higher self. This is your true state of awareness.
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”
– Wayne Dyer